Corner Booth

1. In years to come, Alton Brown is destined to be regaled as one of the finest minds of our time.
2. There is absolutely no reason for my 2 seat convertible to have a disclaimer on the sun visor telling me that the safest place for children to sit is in the BACK SEAT...but it does.
3. Aaron Harang is the largest human being I've ever seen up close in real life. (and at the Aronoff, no less).
4. People who voice there disdain for fur coats while wearing leather boots, belts, and/or coats are funny to me.
5. Forks are the most pretentious of all silverware items.
6. Wedding RSVP's that have the M___________ to tell you where to put your name bug me for two reasons:
a. Why can't I just write my own "M" when I put down Mister?
b. What do Doctors do?
7. What kind of sick trick was God playing when he decided that the longer my hair is...the balder I look?
8. WARNING: NASCAR CONTENT. Why does Tony Stewart fall in love with his Corvette in the ArmorAll commercials when he races in a Toyota? (Not that I wouldn't, but I'm just sayin')
9. Carlos Mencia needs to stop stealing other comics' material and go away. http://youtube.com/watch?v=6nEH8H5BqWg (I know this is old, and normally I wouldn't care, but the fact that he's all over Comedy Central right now leaves me in a state of irk).
10. I bet the Aero-space engineers in the Death Star made a ton of money...well before being blowed all up...twice.

All I got. Pray for those lost in the Philippines from Typhoon Fengshen. We're all going to miss you A. Rest in Peace, Sir.
Much love,
Bo

So I'm addicted to Tivo now. I'm way more into Amazon.com than I should be. After watching "Karate Kid II" tonight (on Tivo) I realize that there is no reason not to marry the two and attempt to recreate my childhood through modern technology. That being said, I think it's time I start paying homage to all the movies that I loved growing up. My plan is to also recognize other pop culture mediums later, but for now I'll just take a trip down memory lane and list the movies that I feel I need to own to make my life complete and the ones I already own. First instillation...movies I dug in the '80's. (doesn't mean they were made in the '80's).

Movies I should own...
1. Karate Kid 1 and 2 (not 3 or "The New")
2. Teen Wolf
3. My Pet Monster
4. Care Bears: The Movie (don't judge me)
5. Michael Jordan's Playground
6. Indiana Jones Trilogy
7. The Neverending Story
8. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
9. Batman
10. Top Gun
11. Crocodile Dundee
12. Rocky IV (used to own it but some douche stole it from me in high school)
13. Willow
14. The Wizard of Oz
15. Airplane
16. Short Circuit
17. Honey I Shrunk the Kids
18. The Navigator

Movies I do own...
1. Star Wars 4-6
2. Back To The Future 1 (I also own 2 & 3 but I didn't quite dig them in the '80's)
3. Alice In Wonderland (the live action tv movie...again, don't judge me)
4. Labyrinth
5. Ghostbusters

Obviously I need to own more "classics" than I already do. There are many more movies that I dug in the '90's...either because I loved them or because my brother forced me to watch them over and over and over again (he was born in '89), but that's another blog. Feel free to comment on my stellar lists and remind me of other flics I forgot.

Much Love,
Bo

Time: 5:30AM on April 18th, 2008
Setting: Mercy Hospital - 6th floor
Situation: Nearing the end of a double shift...exhausted.

Inner dialogue: Why did I decide to stay over tonight? At least I get a 3 day weekend to reward my chivalry. So tired though, this night could not get more boring... Now who the hell is kicking my chair? (Turns around) Ok, I'm up against the nurse's station, there's no one within 10 feet of me...I'm delirious. No, I'm not delirious, THE FREAKING HOSPITAL IS SHAKING! Great, I'm on the top floor of a hospital with 18 behaviorally challenged children and the damn place is about to collapse upon itself. Terrorism? Mistake in the lab? Poltergeist? Obese patient on the 5th floor passing some serious gas? Mike Brown's head finally exploding due to the idiotic antics of Chad Johnson creating a concussion felt around the city? Any of these things is more likely than the truth. There was a freaking earthquake in Cincinnati. So we've got that going for us...

Much Love,
Bo

Alright Bo, you haven't blogged in over a year...Dickman even deleted you from the links on her blog. Time to get back on the horse. Alright, be witty, be relevant, be charming. Ready...go!...ready...go!...okay...go!...shit. Alright, where should you start? Maybe you should catch everyone up on your life over the past year. Okay, that might work. You should probably start by explaining that you haven't had the internet in your apartment for about the past 6 months...but then you might have to explain that you didn't have it because you kinda dug not spending so much time on the computer. No, people are reading this ON THE INTERNET, they don't want to fathem what they're lives might be without it for a while. Move on. Maybe you should catch them up on your career...but that hasn't changed much at all beyond your taking on more responsibility for the same money...too depressing. Music? Yeah, talk about your music...although you've only played live once in the past year and that was months ago, not to mention that your third "album" only has 2 songs finished...ugh. So what the fuck have you done over the past year??? Answer: not much. No one wants to read that, though. Maybe you should make something up. Yeah, that's a great idea! By making up a mythical, fantastical, schpedoinkle story people will come flying back to your blog. Alright, let's brainstorm. Maybe you spent the year in the Peace Corps...no, a simple background check will show that you don't even have a passport...what else? Oh, what if you were a grip on the new Indiana Jones flic? No, then people would ask you electrical questions and you'd look like an ass...for once. Not to mention the inevitable flood of folks asking for Shia LaBeouf autographs...damn him and his "boy-next-door" appeal. Invented a time traveling DeLorean? No, everyone knows you need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity required to power the flux-capacitor and facilitate time travel...great scott. Hiding in the vaginal cavity of a well known socialite heiress??? Nope, to many pictures of her getting out of cars sans undergarments...you'd have to come out for air at some point and the barage of flash bulbs would undoubtedly have rendered you blind and unable to see in order to write this blog. Then there's the fact that Perez Hilton would have certainly gabbed about you with Chelsea Lately and that kind of defeats the purpose of hiding, plus you look like a martian in "night vision." What else? Spent the year in Lilliput?...nope, you would have fit in there. Circus?...too freaky. Cult?...too creepy. Test driving NASCAR C.O.T.'s for Jeff Gordon?...too redneck. Writing songs for Joshua Radin to record?...no, dammit, you respect him too much as a singer/songwriter to falsely take credit for his art. Fuck! Alright, so what did you do? Grew a beard and bought a car...congratulations you're Michael Douglas without the hot wife and millions of dollars. Alright, you've embarassed yourself enough. Just tell the nice people that you promise to blog more and you're sorry for the hiatus...wait, you just did.

Much Love,
Bo

A couple of weeks ago I crossed off one of the "things I've never done" um...things from my um..."things I've never done" list. Mary and I went to Cincinnati Art Museum to look at the pretty pictures. We arrived in the late afternoon in our Sunday best (aka hoodies) and entered the realm of culture within.
Within the first five minutes of perusing ancient artifacts and feeling myself growing as a person (enter either short or sexual joke here) Mary and I witnessed one of the most beautiful episodes of irony heretofore recorded in human history. While looking at a sculpture from ancient Rome I caught a glimpse of Mary moving out of the way of someone out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to see if I, too, would have to de-occupy my personal space the skies opened and a ray of light shined down on...wait for it...an old blind woman in an art museum. I was frozen, unable to move, wanting to look away but unable to avert my stare. As the blind woman's guide walked her past me I dared not to look back. I looked at Mary without a word, she glanced at the walking riddle, and the two of us stifled evil laughter. Speculation immediately began as to why, why god why, was there a blind person in an art museum. Maybe she was an artist before tragically being struck blind and she comes to the museum to have the art described to her, maybe her guide told her that they were in the worlds quietest grocery store and the poor blind woman had no idea where she was, maybe we were on Candid Camera...who knows, but it made me giggle.
From there we took in paintings of Philip Francis (aka big sassy looking man holding a squirrel in his right hand...god knows what that squirrel has been through), the biggest freaking painting ever (which we decided had to be shipped up on the Ohio River on it's own personal barge), a painting of sheep and a sheep herder (yeah, I made a interspecies erotica joke), and the scariest horse sculpture of all time (made from twigs and mud, seven feet tall, and still haunting my dreams). Needless to say we walked out of the museum wondering if we had, in fact, just lowered the cultural bar a notch for everyone.

To counterbalance my cultured side with my redneck heritage, the following weekend I went to Daytona for the 24 Hours at Daytona race. No, it's not NASCAR, it's real cars (aka Corvettes, Porsches, Ferraris, BMWs, etc), and I go every year. My favorite part of the race is at the very beginning, though. Prior to the National Anthem and the most famous words in auto racing there is always a prayer led by a chaplain over the loud speaker. Everyone stops and bows their head and prays that all the drivers are safe. This lasts for about 30 seconds, then everyone spends the next 24 hours hoping to hell that they see a big crash It's a good time though and Jeff Gordon's car came in third this year so I was happy.

Well, I think that's all I got. Here's this for no reason at all....



Much Love,
Bo

Much Love,
Bo

Click the title of this blog and check out the picture for "Bengal Bandwagon" at the bottom of the page...man we're pretty.
Much Love,
Bo