Corner Booth

Alright Bo, you haven't blogged in over a year...Dickman even deleted you from the links on her blog. Time to get back on the horse. Alright, be witty, be relevant, be charming. Ready...go!...ready...go!...okay...go!...shit. Alright, where should you start? Maybe you should catch everyone up on your life over the past year. Okay, that might work. You should probably start by explaining that you haven't had the internet in your apartment for about the past 6 months...but then you might have to explain that you didn't have it because you kinda dug not spending so much time on the computer. No, people are reading this ON THE INTERNET, they don't want to fathem what they're lives might be without it for a while. Move on. Maybe you should catch them up on your career...but that hasn't changed much at all beyond your taking on more responsibility for the same money...too depressing. Music? Yeah, talk about your music...although you've only played live once in the past year and that was months ago, not to mention that your third "album" only has 2 songs finished...ugh. So what the fuck have you done over the past year??? Answer: not much. No one wants to read that, though. Maybe you should make something up. Yeah, that's a great idea! By making up a mythical, fantastical, schpedoinkle story people will come flying back to your blog. Alright, let's brainstorm. Maybe you spent the year in the Peace Corps...no, a simple background check will show that you don't even have a passport...what else? Oh, what if you were a grip on the new Indiana Jones flic? No, then people would ask you electrical questions and you'd look like an ass...for once. Not to mention the inevitable flood of folks asking for Shia LaBeouf autographs...damn him and his "boy-next-door" appeal. Invented a time traveling DeLorean? No, everyone knows you need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity required to power the flux-capacitor and facilitate time travel...great scott. Hiding in the vaginal cavity of a well known socialite heiress??? Nope, to many pictures of her getting out of cars sans undergarments...you'd have to come out for air at some point and the barage of flash bulbs would undoubtedly have rendered you blind and unable to see in order to write this blog. Then there's the fact that Perez Hilton would have certainly gabbed about you with Chelsea Lately and that kind of defeats the purpose of hiding, plus you look like a martian in "night vision." What else? Spent the year in Lilliput?...nope, you would have fit in there. Circus?...too freaky. Cult?...too creepy. Test driving NASCAR C.O.T.'s for Jeff Gordon?...too redneck. Writing songs for Joshua Radin to record?...no, dammit, you respect him too much as a singer/songwriter to falsely take credit for his art. Fuck! Alright, so what did you do? Grew a beard and bought a car...congratulations you're Michael Douglas without the hot wife and millions of dollars. Alright, you've embarassed yourself enough. Just tell the nice people that you promise to blog more and you're sorry for the hiatus...wait, you just did.

Much Love,
Bo