Corner Booth

So I just returned from looking for sunglasses at the mall (by the way, being a male walking alone through a crowded mall may be one of the most awkward situations in the world), and I've discovered that my head is too big for normal human sunglasses. Every pair I tried on were dwarfed by my melon. The weird thing is, as human craniums go, mine's not that big. (Tee-hee-hee). So I conceided and walked away. I next started to look for a hat. Not a baseball cap, but a full brimmed, kick-ass hat. I mean, lots of musicians get away with wearing all kinds of shit on their heads, bandanas, mohawks, Courtney Love. Upon finding a black, full brimmed hat I tried it on and realized...my head is too small to wear a hat with a full brim. (sigh). I'm currently running out of options. Although I did break out the earring for the European Box Wine night this past weekend, I'm getting too old for that (plus my lobe still hurts from where I had to punch it through the back). My eyes are 20/20 so I can't justify wearing specs. It's probably for the best though, now that I think about it I'm not sure I want to attract attention to my face. After all, that would take everyone's eyes away from my smoking ass, and I wouldn't want to deprive the public.
Much Love,
Bo