Corner Booth

First of all, WHO-DEY WHO-DEY WHO-DEY WHO-DEY. Alright now that I've gotten that out of my system here are a few Good and Bad observations from our trip to Chi-town.

THE BAD
1. Kemer and I decided that Chicago fans, in general, cannot talk shit. They try, God help them they try, but it just kind of comes out as the last desperate whimper of a lost and soulless team. After we waxed Soldier Field with them, they were reduced to chanting "Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh." Cheering for another team...Sad. Chants of "Bengals suck" were also uttered by the fallen, but we had just beaten them...Sad. They were also fond of bringing up the fact that Cincinnati has been an awful football team for the past 15 years. No dispute there, but I found this the most perplexing. Why would a city who hasn't won a World Series since Jesus was a child bring up the past? Seems to me, every Spring Training they're talking about how they're "living in the now," and the past doesn't matter...Sad.
2. Chicago fans, in general, are completely classless. At one point in the game Chad Johnson appeared to be hurt. As he lay there on the ground the Chicago fans actually started cheering. I don't care where you are or who you're playing, that's fucking ridiculous. To this I turned to the heartless douche bags behind me and said, "It could be worse, it could be our starting quarterback." They did not respond, but did quiet down considerably.
3. Whoever engineered Soldier Field is a dick. Granted, we were pretty high up, but we had to climb an insane amount of stairs to get to our seats. Legs burning and hearts ready to rip from our chests we did get to see a beautiful view of Lake Michigan as our backdrop to our first 3-0 start in ten fifteen years, so I guess it's not all bad.
4. Blair was nice enough to drive us, which was fully appreciated during the ride home, but he did try to kill us on one specific occasion. As we attempted to find our hotel we were required to get off of Lakeshore Drive. Easy enough, some would say, and some would be incorrect. As we came to the end of the off-ramp it became increasingly evident that Mark had no intention of stopping at the big, red, hexagonal sign. Rex and I sat up tall in the back seat and were speachless, which is rare for us. Through the stop sign we sped like a blur while other cars braked and stared, and right onto the on-ramp back to Lakeshore Drive we went. (Later, when the adrenaline had passed and the fear of death was gone, Rex and I would hold each other and share a good cry when we realized how close we had come to dying and missing the Bengals game the next day). Mark claims he never saw the big red sign, but I still have no idea why he exited the highway only to drive directly back onto it. It may be one of those eternal mysteries like the Great Pyramids, or who convinced Hasselhoff it would be a good career move to become a singer....silly Germans.
5. There are faaaaaar too many people in Chicago. I have no idea how some of you live there.
THE GOOD
1. Sully's bachelor party was a complete success. A fine time was had by all in a bar FULL of Who Dey fans. When I first arrived to the bar, I only knew bits and pieces of the Bengals fight song, but after the 39th or 40th time we sang it, I think I had it down pretty well. Cheers of Who-Dey were as abundant as the golden ale that spewed forth from the taps and out from our laps (I'm a poet and I didn't even realize it). It was also nice that they rented buses to take us to and from the game for a mere $5, hard to find that in the 'nati. It is extremely easy to blow large amounts of cash when on a 15 hour bender though, I would only recommend it for special occasions or Sundays.
2. Grover, if you read this, I may have to marry one of your sisters just so I can hang out with your father again. Spencer is the man.
3. My love for Nude Photo Hunt was reinforced this weekend as Sully, Rex, and I spent the better part of three hours playing it...always check the hair length and for the presence or absence of nipples.
4. Dickman, it was great to see you, but if I seemed a little off (I believe at one time I actually inexplicably had my sunglasses on in the bar) you have to realize that you joined us in the final hour of an 15 hour marathon following the previous night, which was a 9 hour warm-up. I fear my liver may revolt and my kidneys may be divided in their allegiance.
5. Drunk Sully and Drunk Army were in full effect. Words cannot describe them, they are a treat that can only be appreciated in their presence.
All in all the trip to Chicago was amazing. The Who-Dey nation was primed and ready to go. Personally, I couldn't believe how many Bengals fans were there and I was filled with a pride that I think most people in the 'nati had previously forgotten. In Marvin We Trust.
Much Love,
Bo